


Help me change my mind

by heartequals (savvygambols)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 01:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14321844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savvygambols/pseuds/heartequals
Summary: Sid had learned long ago, through extensive therapy, not to dwell on the what ifs of his life, like what if he hadn’t gotten a career-ending injury at 18 or what if he hadn’t run away from his problems to Pittsburgh, or what if he had gotten a normal job that didn’t involve fingerpaint in his hair.





	Help me change my mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hatoyona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatoyona/gifts).



> For hatoyona, who was sad about the Pens getting murdered by the Flyers in Game 2 and asked for short cheer-up kid fic. I can't believe my first contribution to this fandom is Pens kid fic wtf. Like thank God you liked this, honestly.
> 
> Title from "That's What's Up" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes cause I'm cheesy as hell.

Sid had learned long ago, through extensive therapy, not to dwell on the what ifs of his life, like what if he hadn’t gotten a career-ending injury at 18 or what if he hadn’t run away from his problems to Pittsburgh, or what if he had gotten a normal job that didn’t involve fingerpaint in his hair.

That said.

“Oh!” said Zhenya, “you have paint.” He paused, looking Sid up and down. “Everywhere.”

“Papa!” shrieked Ani, holding out her arms and doing her best to leap from Sid’s arms to her father’s. Zhenya grabbed her, grinning. “Anichka, Anichka, Anichka,” he said, kissing her on a different part of her face with each repetition. “Were you good girl today?”

Ani responded to him in Russian, most of which Sid didn’t understand and all of which made him proud. He was working really hard with Zhenya to normalize both Russian and English in her vocabulary; it was important to Zhenya that she was fluent in both languages. “Never know when we gonna go back,” he said to Sid once, with a shrug. “Could be anytime.” Sid started teaching himself Russian after that, but it was slow going. Russian was hard and his main teacher was an impatient 3 year old.

Sid let Ani and Zhenya talk and started cleaning up paint. There wasn’t a lot to clean up because it had mostly ended up on him.

“Messy,” said Zhenya, coming up next to him. He grinned at Sid over Ani’s head, looking wicked. “Did she try to drown you in paint?”

Sid handed him Ani’s art to avoid answering him. Zhenya looked delighted. “Ani, did you do this?”

“Yes,” said Ani solemnly. She was serious about her art. Sid privately thought she’d end up in the Met someday. “Sid did the other one.” She pointed at the table, at Sid’s little blue rain clouds on a sheet of white paper.

“So sad, Sidney,” said Zhenya. “Why you paint rain clouds? It’s sunny!”

“That’s what I said!” said Ani.

“She did the sun,” said Sidney. “So I kind of thought I might as well do all the weather.”

“You didn’t do snow,” said Ani. “You forgot the snow.”

“I do the snow,” said Zhenya. He set Ani down and sat down at the table, comically large in the toddler seating. Sidney wasn’t sure how Zhenya fit. He tried not to think about it or about how comparatively small he was next to Zhenya. It was hard; Zhenya was enormous, one of the faces of Russia’s unwitting contributions to the NHL, and Sid hadn’t been a professional hockey player in four years. He swallowed a sigh. He was fine with the way his life was turning out, but sometimes he thought he made a mistake taking a job as a nanny for Ani. It was hard to think when he looked at Zhenya.

Ani climbed into Zhenya’s lap. Zhenya looked up at Sid and smiled crookedly. After a moment, Sid sat down in the table next to them and watched Zhenya draw snowflakes that mostly looked like broken stars. Ani had a lot of opinions about that, each statement making Zhenya laugh harder than before. When he finished, he held up the paper proudly. “Sid! What do you think?”

“They’e ugly,” said Ani.

“No, Ani, we don’t insult anybody’s art,” said Sid, even though the snowflakes were really ugly. “Zhenya, they’re beautiful.”

Zhenya looked at his snowflakes critically. “Hmm.”

“Maybe you need a snowman?” Sid offered.

“It’s _sunny_ ,” said Ani.

“Yes, I think snowman,” said Zhenya. He put the paper down and carefully drew a snowman, getting purple paint all over his hands.

“Perfect,” said Sid when Zhenya finished and held up the paper again.

“Good,” said Zhenya, satisfied.

“But it’s _sunny_ ,” said Ani.

“Yes,” said Zhenya. “True.” He considered Ani for a moment. “Let’s eat dinner outside. How does that sound?”

Anichka answered him in rapid-fire Russian that Sid barely understood and Zhenya responded in kind and Sid did not understand at all. He took the paint and screwed on the lids, tidying as best he could. He’d clean the playroom tomorrow after he dropped Ani off at preschool.

“Do you want to shower here?” Zhenya asked, standing up and swinging Ani onto one hip easily in a way that Sid could never quite manage. “You’re a mess.”

“No, it’s fine,” said Sid. He stood up too. “I should go.”

Zhenya and Ani walked Sid to the door. Sid had seen Zhenya carry Ani on his hip with one arm a thousand times and it still managed to make him feel vaguely homesick for reasons he couldn’t identify. Maybe because Ani fit so perfectly with Zhenya and Sid felt mostly out of place whenever Zhenya was around.

“Bye Sid,” said Ani. She leaned forward expectantly.

Sid kissed her forehead, as was their routine. “See you tomorrow, Ani. Be good.”

“No kiss for me?” said Zhenya with a smirk.

“No,” said Sid, rolling his eyes. It wasn’t the first time Zhenya had asked. Zhenya was kind of an idiot when it came to social skills but at least he knew how to take a joke, which was more than Sid could say for his last two employers. Zhenya was awkward, but nice. Sid liked that about him. It made him feel at home.

“Hmph,” said Zhenya and touched Sid’s nose with a finger that was still wet with paint; his nose, which probably the only part of Sid’s body that had escaped the paint explosion until now. “Bye Sid.”

Sid resigned himself to the fact that he would look ridiculous in the grocery store on the way home. “Bye Zhenya.”

As he walked down the steps of the porch, he heard Ani say, “Papa, why do you want Sid to kiss you?”

“I like him very much,” said Zhenya, almost too quiet to hear. “Maybe even I love him.”

Sid tripped off the bottom step and nearly fell on his face.

“I love him too,” said Ani, much less quietly.

“Hey Sid, you okay?” called Zhenya.

“Fine!” said Sid. “Totally fine! See you tomorrow. Bye. Uh.”

He could hear Zhenya laughing and Ani giggling as he got in his car. Sid had a lingering, slightly weird thought that he’d like to hear the sound of them laughing together every day for the rest of his life, even, or perhaps especially, at him.

That was...something. Maybe Sid didn’t want to play hockey like Zhenya, to be as big as Zhenya. Maybe he just wanted to be _with_ Zhenya.

He sat in his car for several minutes and then got back out of it. He walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

“Sid?” said Zhenya, when he answered it. “Why you ring doorbell? You have key.”

Sid leaned up and kissed Zhenya’s cheek. “Good night, Zhenya.”

Zhenya stared at him and touched his cheek, looking awed. “What,” he said.

“I think I like you too,” said Sid.

“Oh.” Zhenya rubbed at his cheek.

“Good night,” said Sid. He turned to leave. His face was red and he needed to go scream into a pillow or something.

Zhenya touched his arm. “Sid,” he said. “Uh. Stay for dinner? I’m cook.”

“Uh, what,” said Sid. “I mean! Yes? Do you need me to watch Ani? I can stay a little longer if you need help.”

“No, no. I’m make us dinner as date,” said Zhenya. His cheeks were pink. “Ani help me. You relax.”

“Oh, um,” said Sid. He smiled, a little helpless. Zhenya looked so hopeful. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

Zhenya touched Sid’s cheek and then leaned down and kissed him. “Good,” he said when he pulled away. He took Sid’s hand and tugged him inside. “Come. I’m make grilled chicken.” He paused. “You shower. You taste like paint.”

“Okay, that’s really your fault,” Sid said.

“I’m help you, if you want,” said Zhenya.

“Zhenya, your daughter is _right there_.”

Zhenya laughed and squeezed Sid’s hand. Sid marveled at how easily his hand fit in Zhenya’s. It might not be so bad, that Zhenya was so much bigger than him.

“Go wash,” said Zhenya. “Borrow one of my clean shirts. Ani and I make dinner.”

“Okay,” said Sid. He smiled. “All right.”

Zhenya kissed him again and then ran down the hall to the kitchen, calling for Ani. Sid grinned, then went upstairs to shower.


End file.
